


A Reflective Surface

by Akuma Memento Mori_reposted fics (BBJ_3)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Childish Crush, Gaara just wants to be loved, Iruka is the BEST, M/M, Naruto is an amazing friend, relationship sort of hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 12:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18468856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BBJ_3/pseuds/Akuma%20Memento%20Mori_reposted%20fics
Summary: Questions ran through Gaara's mind as he listened to Naruto chatter on as he bounced around the chunin. Why does Umino Iruka love Naruto? Why does he worry about him? Why doesn't he hate him for Kyubi? And most importantly, "Why doesn't he love me?"





	A Reflective Surface

His entire body quaked in uncertainty as he hid behind the wall. He was a monster, one who never feared anyone, yet he had never been more terrified. Taking a deep breath he turned slowly to his left so his chest was pressed against the wall. Leaning slightly to his right he peered through the crack in the doorway. His breath shook as it left him. The blond was jumping all around and laughter echoed through the tall hallways. The man he circled had a kind smile that reminded Gaara of Yashamaru. Except this man had yet to betray Naruto, had yet to reveal his true nature. Gaara was certain that no one could love demons such as himself and the blond. No one could love them, no one but themselves.

His lips twitched and the sand within his gourd rustled softly; yes, this would be a favor to the blond. He would take away the liar, the one who made them different. He would destroy that wretched liar and watch as blood poured from the edges of those taunting, smiling lips. Watch as tears soaked though ugly tan cheeks. Watch as he fell to ruin and cursed Naruto, just as Yashamaru had revealed he had always hated Gaara. Yes, then they would be the same. Nothing to separate them. Then they would have someone who understood. And then Gaara would kill him.

His blue eyes slid close and he inhaled deeply as he listened to Naruto say his goodbyes and part from the man when the pink haired girl called to him. She was Naruto's Temari. She didn't hide that she hated Naruto yet at the same time she did care for him in a twisted way. When it was convenient for her. Constantly she reminded him that she preferred their third companion just like Temari preferred Kankuro. Sasuke and Kankuro were parallels as well. They taunted and sneered; pointing out the slightest mistake yet somehow they were both a comforting presence. They were something solid and warm that would burn you if touched. This made him and the blond even more the same.

Listening to the soft footsteps of the man as he continued his slow strides down the hallway Gaara prepared. The sand around him was ready for blood. Thirsted for blood. When the steps were close enough Gaara spun out from his hiding place and attacked the man. Brown eyes widened and he did not react for a split second before quickly defending himself. But even as he dodged and parried Gaara's strikes he did not lash out at the young demon host. Gaara could not understand why the man moved only in defense. Surely this horrible man knew who he was. Surely this horrible man hated him just like the rest of the ninja who knew. Just like he really hated Naruto. Surely this man hated him the same. Still the elder would not attack and, for the fury of his movements, Gaara pounced upon the man causing the elder to lose his footing and fall to the floor. When he sat upon the man, his sand ready to attack, he realized he could not continue.

Confusion filled him as he tried to will the sand to attack but found he couldn't. Something, not the demon certainly but himself, was stopping his onslaught. Questions circled around his head. Questions that no one had ever answered for him after Yashamaru's betrayal. Questions that came when he saw Naruto jumping around so happily where he was continually filled with anger. He did not understand how a demon could be happy yet not kill. That blond was surrounded by liars yet Gaara found he could not bring himself to kill the greatest liar of all. His knuckles turned white as he clenched them into the man's chunin vest. The other was not attacking even now but simply watching him calmly. As the other moved to sit up slightly Gaara shoved him back down and his fury only grew when he realized that that horrible man was letting him do this. That if the other wanted to he could get away. He hated that the other did not see him as a threat. And he hated that, for the first time since Yashamaru's betrayal, his eyes had begun to water.

The tan man opened his mouth to speak, "Can I hel-?" Gaara couldn't contain his confusion and fury any longer.

"Why does he get you?" Gaara screamed and clung to the man's vest as tears soaked through his sand armor and small drops of wet sand fell onto that horrible man's face, "Why do you protect him still? Why do you care for him?" ice blue eyes glared into the still calm and understanding chocolate pools which served only to make Gaara more furious as he ripped the vest from the shinobi, "Why do you feed him? Worry for him?" he shook the Hidden Leaf shinobi with all his might as his façade of sand fell to pieces around him, serving to do nothing more than to surround the two, and somewhat cover the one below, with wet sand, "Why do you still love him when Yashamaru stopped loving me! Why does he deserve love and I don't?" the tears would not stop as Gaara buried his face into the other's chest. He breathed deeply the other's scent, one of grass, spice, and sunshine, before turning his head to the left so his right ear was pressed against that man's chest so he could listen to the steady heart beat, "Why don't you love me?"

For nearly twenty seconds, Gaara counted each one; there was only the sound of his stifled sobs and neither moved. Then Gaara felt a hand gently run through his hair in a comforting gesture he had seen other people do to small children. Bringing his head so that his eyes were level with that man's tormenting brown eyes he could not contain the sobs any longer. His fingers dug into the Leaf shinobi's shirt, no doubt ripping the thin clothe and the skin beneath it, and let his tears run until he had no more tears to cry. The entire time, as his body trembled and his tears drenched the white shirt below, the man just ran a hand through Gaara's hair and whispered words of comfort.

"You deserve love, Gaara-kun," the voice whispered softly and at his name from the soft-voiced shinobi he clung harder as if he wanted to merge into the man's warm body and never be apart, "You deserve to be protected and cared for…you deserve to be loved…"

"Then why doesn't anyone love me?" Gaara whispered without moving from his position against the shinobi's chest. There was a silence and Gaara could tell that the shinobi was unsure of how to answer his question. Furious at the silence and the pain that filled him he pushed, "Why doesn't anyone love me? Why do they love him? He's a demon as well!"

"Naruto loves…" the shinobi explained slowly, "Because he loves and always tries his best, people grow to love him."

"But you loved him before he earned it," Gaara hissed.

"He deserved to be loved, just like you did. I wish someone had been there for you, Gaara-kun. I wish someone had shown you the love you deserve. I cannot explain others' actions but you shouldn't hide yourself behind this wall of pain and self-loathing. Free yourself, if you love, then you will be loved," the shinobi replied.

"Who could love me?"

"Your brother and sister."

"They fear me, they do not love me," Gaara growled and buried his face deeper into the other's chest before pausing and whispering, "If I try to love them and let them love me…will you promise to love me?"

"I already love you, Gaara-kun."

"Why?" he whispered and brought his eyes level once more as he pressed, "Why do you love me?"

"Because you are determined and because, even though you aren't willing to see it yourself, there is a good in you that I cannot ignore. You aren't the demon, Gaara-kun," the shinobi smiled and Gaara's heart fluttered.

"Promise to love me?"

"Gaara-kun-" the other began only to be interrupted.

"Promise?" Gaara pleaded and shivered slightly at the sheer intensity of the need for love that he had suppressed for so long.

"I promise."

Gaara nodded softly and rested his head on the other's chest. They remained that way for a bit longer before Gaara pulled away and replaced his gourd on his back, "Iruka-san?" Gaara tested the name on his tongue but frowned at the suffix. It felt wrong but he knew it would seem inappropriate to say the elder's name without one. Blushing he quickly erected his sand armor in hopes of shielding himself from the other's piercing gaze. He had never cared for what was proper before, but now he felt like it was needed, "Iruka-san…I am certain I will be seeing you."

He then retreated and fled down the hallway away from the brown haired shinobi without another glance backwards. They would meet again when Gaara was older and more prepared to deal with the rising emotions for the elder. Smirking as he slowed to a walk and headed towards where his brother and sister were he swore to himself that he would earn their love. And then he would earn the love of a certain leaf shinobi who loved before it was earned and forgave when no one else could.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally by Akuma Memento Mori, reposted with permission. 
> 
> I forgot how much I loved Umino Iruka.


End file.
